Retirement: Reshaping the Mind to Reset Life

My wife and I, both instructors at the same college, retired this month. In this post, I will talk about our decision and its potential impact.

Choosing to Retire—Together

Unlike some professionals, American college instructors don’t have to retire at a specific age. That made the retirement decision more personal and, in some ways, more difficult.

We were on autopilot, having already done the heavy lifting in our careers. Moreover, extended summer and winter breaks provided flexibility. So, giving up a regular paycheck felt like a huge sacrifice, especially without the security of a post-retirement monthly pension.

Absent a mandatory retirement age, why stop working if you still enjoy it?

My wife loved her job. I didn’t.

I had prioritized a crucial aspect of my personal life, not my career. Although I worked diligently at my job, it was more about duty than passion.

Not being emotionally attached to my job, I welcomed retirement.

Even though my wife, who is three years younger, has the energy and mindset to keep going, she chose to retire with me to maximize flexibility in our collective life.

Overlooked Factor: Caring for Aging Parents

Prescriptive articles on retirement in individualistic American culture rarely mention a motivator relevant in more collectivist cultures like India: taking care of elderly parents.

That was a big part of our decision.

For a long time, my parents lived with us. Things were manageable until my father began showing signs of Alzheimer’s, and my mother’s dementia worsened. Caring for two parents with significant cognitive decline while working full-time became overwhelming.

Eventually, they needed constant care and couldn’t be left alone.

Consequently, we made the tough decision to relocate them to their apartment in India, where we could arrange and afford round-the-clock caregiving.

That arrangement helped, but coordinating care from across the globe brought different challenges.

At that point, retirement became the best option.

Witnessing the fragility of cognitive health—and just how precious time is—our caregiving experience has shaped not only our retirement decision but also our mindset about retirement.

Retiring in Personal Life

This experience has led us to contemplate more deeply how we should retire in our personal lives, which is more nuanced than retiring from our professional lives.

Many retirees understandably embrace travel, hobbies, and long-postponed pleasures— and we plan to do some of that, too. The freedom to move between the U.S. and India and be more available for our parents is a bonus.

Still, we are wary of drifting into a life solely defined by indulgence and passive comfort.

That concern drives us to explore how to experience time more fully.

Retirement can be more than just a long break if we prioritize how time feels rather than how we spend it.

Looking Back to Look Ahead

Reflecting on how we should retire, as in let go, in this new phase, I find the Asrama system from Hindu philosophy appealing. It divides life into four stages:

• Brahmacharya – Learning years centered on education and self-discipline.
• Gṛhastha – Working and family-building years focused on career and societal contribution.
• Vānaprastha – A gradual step back from worldly roles and reflection while guiding others.
• Sannyāsa – Renunciation with a focus on spiritual liberation.

Although this classification is contextually ancient, its essence endures.

We are now in the third stage—a phase of quietly stepping back from the din of everyday expectations. It’s about striving less and reflecting more, softening the ego, and loosening the need to stay in control.

You might expect this shift to occur automatically with age.

Yet, several friends in their retirement have grown more abrasive, inflexible, and ego-driven instead of mellowing. Reaching this state may not come naturally—we must consciously work toward it.

Eventually, we may move toward Sannyāsa—not through monastic isolation, but by letting go of our attachment to roles, the grip of identity, and the need to be constantly productive.

An Ambitious Goal—With Real Challenges

If we can make that shift, even partly, retirement might transform from simply savoring life as usual into a new, enriching experience.

Something loosely akin to moksha—not in its metaphysical sense, but as a kind of inner freedom derived from the deliberate, gradual unshackling of the mind.

Of course, that’s an aspiration at this time. It could change. Many retirees have found fulfillment through community service, creative pursuits, family engagement, and more.

Old habits are hard to break, and the comfort of routine and the pull of seemingly insatiable worldly temptations are strong. Letting go—genuinely letting go—will take time and intention. It will not be easy.

But if we can meet this challenge—even partway—perhaps we won’t simply retire. We might discover a more liberated, blissful way of life.

After all, retirement is but a re-engagement with life—more on our terms than ever.